Dear Kid Saturday: A Bittersweet Christmas

Dear J, K, and D,

This has been one of the most wonderful, yet most difficult, Christmases that I have had to face in my life. This being the first year without your Grammy, we have all tried to keep things as normal as possible for everyone, silently mourning our own losses and dealing with the pain of the huge empty hole in our hearts.

Christmas was your Grammy’s favorite time. She loved nothing more than watching the joy, wonder and excitement on your faces as you discovered all of the treasures you had recieved for Christmas. You were her entire life and seeing you all so happy was the one thing that made her complete. I always loved watching her face light up as yours’ did. She was truly beautiful when she smiled.

This year, as Poppy gave you your new bikes, I swore I saw her peeking around the corner from the kitchen, smiling and laughing at your reactions to “the most beautiful bicycle ever,” as K called his. I know she was with us, enjoying your happiness and loving us all, from afar.

This Christmas has been bittersweet for me. Watching you littler ones begin to realize all of the secrets of the Season and really get excited over Santa and presents has been so much fun. Its been awhile since I have been able to enjoy that, as J is far beyond the age of the mysteries of Christmas. My only wish is that the whole family had been together to experience your amazement and excitement.

Even though we will never have the joy of having a Christmas with your Grammy again, she will always be with us, especially during times of such love and happiness. If you’re quiet and still, you will be able to hear her laughing at you playing. You will feel her hugs and hear her whisper “I love you” when things get to be too much.

This Christmas, and every other day for the rest of your lives, you are luckier than many. You have a special angel in Heaven watching you and loving you, more than anything else in the world.

Merry Christmas my babies,

Love,

Mama

This post is a part of Dear Kid Saturday, a weekly meme from Cutest Kid Ever.