It’s Time To Shine – In My Own Light

I hate to keep harping on Blogher, but as the days pass since returning home from my first trip away from the kids since K was born, I am discovering so much about myself. It took a flight halfway across the country and a weekend of not wiping other people’s noses and butts to realize that I still exist.

I have been drowning in motherhood, I think. It has become who I am, more often than not, which is fine. It’s my number one job – the one that I wake up in the morning to do. But there is so much more to me. There are parts of me that need to shine – without the help of @Jennyonthespot’s glitter spray and a rockin’ pink feather boa, though the help was much appreciated.

Gettin' glittered - Photo by Mamikaze

I lost the rest of me somewhere. The part that laughs and giggles with her friends, that was the first one on the dance floor at every party, the part that had opinions on everything and wasn’t afraid to share them. She’s been hiding, neglected, waiting her turn to shine again.

I have been overwhelmed with a world that included little more than Thomas the Tank Engine, changing diapers, and snuggling the kids to sleep each night. I forgot how to be more than a mother, though there is so much more to me than that. I’m not just the accomplishments of my children. I am so much more.

One weekend in Chicago was all it took to remind me that there is so much more to life. I may be a mother foremost, but the rest of me needs to make an appearance once in awhile. The girl who rocked the dance floor back in the day still exists, even under the extra pounds of baby weight and dark circles from lost sleep. And she wants to shine now and then.

What parts of yourself have you lost in motherhood and what would it take for you to find them again?