Passing Thoughts From a Tired Mama

Crazy things happen when I’m stuck lying in bed with a kid that doesn’t want to sleep. Things cross your mind like a wish for a day when I can go to bed at a normal time without playing 20 questions with a very curious 4 yr old. Seriously, I don’t know where the snow goes when it melts, and you don’t NEED to know at midnight.

In my frustration, I look over at the other little boy sleeping in his crib with his diapered bottom in the air. I think to myself how he drank too much before bedtime and will probably be a soppy mess in the morning for me to clean up. Oh, how I hate changing diapers. I’m starting to think he will never be potty trained.

And the messes the two of them made together today. Between the toys spread from one end of the room to the other, then D running outside in his diaper and shirt and K locking me out of the house when I went after him, I was ready to put them all up for adoption. How I wish they would just hurry up and grow up, so I can have a clean house and quieter days.

But then my mind starts to think back 10 years to another little boy who never wanted to sleep, and would quiz me about life long beyond his bedtime, asking the really tough questions like what are rainbows made of and what does Santa Claus do in July. That little boy will be 15 in less than two weeks, and it seems like just yesterday he was K’s age.

That little boy, who I never thought would outgrow the terrible twos, or be potty trained, or sleep in his own bed, now has a voice like a grown man and a goatee. In a year, he’ll have his license. In three, he’ll be an official adult. He doesn’t ask me cute questions anymore, just asks me for money or video games.

I look back over at the little soggy hiney making a lump under the covers and then I look at the sweet face of the little boy who has finally stopped asking me unanswerable questions and is now drooling down my arm in peaceful slumber.

Suddenly, I don’t want my bed back anymore. I want to keep changing diapers. I want to clean up messes and step on toys and make three different dinners so no one goes to bed hungry.

With each passing day, my babies get bigger and I get closer to pining for these days that sometimes annoy me now. Before I even realize it, all of these frustrations will be gone and my sweet baby boys will be all grown up.

I think I’m going to go crawl in bed and spend the rest of the night with 4 yr old feet in my face…