In general, I’m a bit of a pacifist. I let drama soar over my head and would-be offensive comments roll off my back. When someone says something negative in an attack toward people, I generally give the world the benefit of the doubt to see their true colors for what they are and I move on.
This time though, I’ve had enough. The self-proclaimed food police have my defenses up and my blood boiling.
Evidently, the fact that I feed my family processed food, from time to time, means that I am a bad mother, I hate my children and I am all-but guilty of murder. And evidently it also means that I am ignorant and incapable of reading a food label, or I’d NEVER give something like that to people I love.
That’s really easy to say when you’ve never lived in a world where you have to make choices like going grocery shopping or paying the rent. A roof over our heads and some Ramen noodles for dinner on occasion or cooking whole grain pasta and organic tomato sauce over a trashcan fire, outside our refrigerator box…which would you choose? Sure, if I lived in a world of disposable income and swimming pools in every yard, I would like nothing better than to feed my family all-organic, free range foods that I lovingly prepared between sitting around eating bonbons and playing tennis.
HOWEVER, I live in a world where I need to feed a family of six with what some people probably spend on food in two days. Some people might tell me that I should go back into the workforce and get an out-of-the-home job, but what would that change? Once I paid daycare, I would have considerably less money to throw in the pot than I have now…and less time to prepare said “perfect” foods. Others may tell me to grow my own produce and raise some chickens in the backyard. Talk to my landlord about that…oh, and cut down the trees that keep the sunlight out of my yard so things will grow, while you’re at it.
You want to call me a bad mother for making sure that my family has something in their bellies? Be my guest. I guess it would be better to let them starve to death than to use processed foods that are laden with things that aren’t healthy. Looks like I’m a murderer either way.
To the so-called food police of the world, if you really want to make a difference, why not campaign to the organic and whole foods companies and see if they can’t find a way to make their products more affordable to the masses? Attacking the people who are trying to do the best they can for their families isn’t going to get you anywhere. Attacking the companies that are producing the food that I can afford and running them out of business is murdering my children, as well.
It somewhat reminds me of the uproar a few months back where breastfeeding activists were discouraging people from supporting formula donations to Haiti. Yes, breastfeeding is the best scenario, but when moms are malnourished, dehydrated and in some cases, severely injured or dead, it is IMPOSSIBLE. Are those babies supposed to starve to death, because formula is a deterrent from breastfeeding for those that are capable?
Before you throw stones and make harsh accusations, how about practicing a little compassion? We don’t all live in the same world, even if we’re on the same planet.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
I really loved this post! I totally agree with everything that you have written here. If the “best” things for our family were affordable to everyone, then we all would have them. I feed a family of six just like you and I have to stretch that dollar as far as it goes, and you don’t that doesn’t go very far. I also stay home with my kids, because I feel it is better for them. We make sacrifices for our families, whether it be eating processed foods or tightening our budgets so we can stay home with our kids. I hate judgmental people, don’t throw stones if you live in a glass house!!
I will start by saying that I disagree with you Shannan. However, I think your post is well written and I can understand where you are coming from. I do NOT have a silver spoon in my mouth and we have always struggled on one income, but I will sacrifice a whole lot in order to put healthy foods on the table for my kids, my whole family. It’s hard and I have get very creative, but it can be done. I have a feeling I know where your post stems from and I am in the “midst” of it all, so to speak. I don’t feel attacking and badgering is the best approach, as some like to take, but instead, I prefer to teach and educate others…..sometimes people just don’t know where to begin when it comes to making changes. Big hug to you, girl I think you’re pretty great!
Even if we don’t agree on this…
Cathy, that’s precisely my point. If people feel that strongly about a topic and want people to see the “error” of their ways, then work toward helping them find feasible solutions to the problem. I walk into the grocery store and see the “good” stuff priced far outside my budget. I’ve cut all the corners that I can to raise the grocery funds as high as they will go and it’s simply not enough to buy the makings for homemade mac and cheese over boxed, for example. It just seems that the more belligerent people are those who have it a bit easier and are looking down their noses at the rest of us.
This is all flaring up because of the Jamie Oliver show. Even though I can see valid points on the show, I stand by my initial belief that, while perfect healthy food it best, it is not always a possibility for everyone. I give my kids that god awful orange mac and cheese. We eat *gasp* corn fed beef. We live paycheck to paycheck. I have no choice, but to cut corners. It doesn’t make either of us a BAD parent.
.-= Jenni Williams´s last blog ..The Time My Head Exploded on Facebook =-.
I’m all for healthy, all natural, and in most cases organic foods. But I’m totally with you on the time/money issue. There are a few areas that I spring for the healthier stuff, and a few where I can’t. Plus a few that I won’t give up (don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some awesome “real” mac & cheese, but Kraft’s is so much yummier and cheaper). But nutrition is my hobby, so I’m endlessly fascinated by shows like Food Revolution and You Are What You Eat.
Sadly, organic farming is much more expensive than regular farming, so the only way to reduce price there is for many, many more commercial farms to convert over to organic and drive up the competition. So, I vote with my dollar where I think it’s most important- well, technically where I think it’s tastier.
Farm fresh eggs and free-range eggs really do taste much better. I’m lactose intolerant so the milk doesn’t affect me one way or another except when I’m making Mac & Cheese. Frozen vegetables are as healthy or healthier than “fresh” produce, unless you have access to get them right from the farm (which, in my area, is much, much cheaper than the grocery store anyway- just less convenient).
OK, I’m totally digressing. Sorry.
Point is, I’m interested in nutrition, and I like to spread knowledge where I can, but I try to never tell someone else what to do, so I’m hoping I’m not part of the Food Police?
.-= WordVixen´s last blog ..It Must Be The Water… =-.
I understand Shannan, I really do. In my experience with some in my “real” life, though, I see what they make for choices and then claim eating healthy is too expensive. It frustrates me because I find it’s really about priorities. Again, I am speaking from specific people in my life that I have interacted with and seen their lifestyle. I wish I could travel across the country and walk through the grocery store with people and share how I am able to do it for my family. Far more productive than attacking and insulting.
.-= Cathy´s last blog ..Yummy Earth Product Review and Giveaway! =-.
WOW, what a heart-felt and well written post. I hear you loud and clear! I’m a bit annoyed with the whole Jamie Oliver explosion and agree that some people are taking it way too far. Organic is expensive and you can’t beat ramen noodles and mac and cheese prices. I personally believe that it is all about balance. Some nights you may have free range chicken and fresh vegetables and the next night may be Hamburger Helper. As families we have to do what we have to do! We make it work!
.-= Mel’s Box of Chocolates´s last blog ..Sunday Stars =-.
AMEN! I am dealing with newly diagnosed food allergies, and if I hear about how all that processed allergen free food is not good for my son, I am gonna SCREAM! I gotta do what I gotta do to feed my family.
.-= Spookygirl´s last blog ..Vegan Brown Rice Pudding.. =-.
I understand your point completely – feeding a family of 4 for me often comes between paying the rent on time or getting this cavity in my molar filled.
While the discussion from the last couple of days did seem to become a bit militant, I think the real issue wasn’t so much that there are people who feed their kids processed foods as much as blog moms who – in their blogs – promote wholesome, healthy foods for their kids but then turn around and jump through hoops for a company like Oscar Mayer because they got some free stuff out of it.
I don’t feed my kids many processed foods – I live in Lima, Peru, and canned foods are practically non-existent, while there is a plethora of fresh and cheap fruits and veggies. But I also have the luxury of time to spend in the kitchen cooking – I spend literally 4 hours a day minimum in the kitchen cooking. If I were working a job and a half outside the home, I’m sure I’d be using a lot more Mac n Cheese and frozen hamburgers.
And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss having cans of cream of mushroom soup to make casseroles with.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Aji de Gallina – Chicken in Spicy Aji Sauce =-.
It all comes down to not judging until you’ve walked a mile in someone else’s shoes and even then, offer something constructive, not a blanket statement of dismay.
Kelly, the initial comments were the same song that some people have been singing for awhile now, about “hating your children.” Comments that have been eating at me for a long time and just got me fed up. I personally think the attacks on bloggers was an afterthought simply for the sake of spewing more nastiness and pointing more fingers.
I suspect I’m one of the many women who you’d consider the food police.
I’d like to say that a banana is about a tenth the price of a box of Lunchables and has a hundred times more health benefits.
In the imperfect scenario you describe (imperfect only that you aren’t swimming in money, perfect in that you’re with your kids) a box of Ritz Crackers and a loaf of Tilamook Cheese costs the same as TWO boxes of Lunchables, is a healthier option and would probably fill up six kids with cheese to spare.
I don’t think you’re a bad mother if you occasionally give kids junk, but I do think you’re a bad citizen if you are marketing these items. The plastic waste is incredible, and the cost is high, both short and long term.
Three things I want to make abundantly clear:
1. I never used anyone’s name, this incident, like most in the momosphere isn’t even on the radar of anyone else, so the only way women would be named is if they point fingers at themselves.
2. When I talk about children and obesity I limit it to morbid obesity, you know the sort that kills you. I recall a fat kid in the neighborhood growing up, but I don’t recall a morbidly obese one.
3. I am picking on the food industry. When you take money from Kraft to hostess a twitter party, you are part of the food industry. There should be the same level of shame associate with Kraft as there is with Marlboro.
.-= Jessica Gottlieb´s last blog ..Influence: Doing More Harm Than Good =-.
Jessica, it’s the sweeping generalizations and accusations of hate that bother me here. It’s not about naming names and pointing fingers at who, it’s the point of accusing people of hating their children. There are plenty of other ways to get your point across than saying things that are that abrasive and downright mean. I stood up and took the finger of blame because I know there are others who feel as I do.
There is plenty of shame and blame that needs to be placed on the food industry, and my issue here is not the message, but the way that it’s being conveyed.
I agree with you Shannan, about the fact that rather thank lay shame and blame on parents, someone out there should be offering realistic advice for those of us that struggle financially. And, I am not talking about someone with money who says you do this, this, and this, but someone who has lived a similar life(because noone has lived the same life). I get frustrated by a lack of this….on television even. Often times those that offer “budget friendly” eating tips are promoting less healthy foods.
I think a new set of eyes is always a great thing…..a way you might not see to save money on something, someone else may see right away…..and to tell you what it is without demeaning you is the key.
.-= Cathy´s last blog ..Yummy Earth Product Review and Giveaway! =-.
You really should visit Jamie Oliver’s webpage for healthy recipes. I think you would be surprised at how cheap, easy, and fast the meals are.
A few yrs ago I was where you are now and totally understand. It may take a little more time cutting coupons and choosing the healthier version but it is well worth it. After all, isn’t that why we stay home with our children?
I completely understand your frustration Shannan. It’s not an easy thing to find, especially in the area you live in-the prices there can be ridiculously high.
I’m happy to help you navigate the area, and help you find more affordable healthy options, since when we are down that way we cook at my parent’s house most of the time anyhow.
I made the choice 12 years ago to stay at home, and continue to eat healthy. Do we slip up-yes? But it’s not impossible-even on a tiny income to make healthy food choices.
.-= Kelly Whalen´s last blog ..The Centsible Show 4/19/10-Win a Power Mat =-.
It can be done- we lived on one income and fed a family of five (plus two dogs and three cats). It really helps to start NOW- while produce is cheap and in season and can be put away for the winter (eating organically, cheaply, is much more difficult in winter). As for the price of organic– that will never come down until the demand increases. As long as everyone continues to flock to the cheap options, organic will be more expensive. That’s just economics.